Yes, this is a cancer blog. I was 29 and living with my husband in Brighton, UK, when I was diagnosed with advanced stage IVB Hodgkin's lymphoma. Two years later, we made it back home to Nelson, New Zealand with a disease upgrade: refractory CNS Hodgkin's lymphoma. Well, if anything, it sounds fancy. The remains of my story can be found within the walls of this blog, which I shall endeavour to continue until my demise.
Aside from my disease, I am famous for ranting, unintended shaggy-dog stories, nerding out on biology, uncontrollable hair, and an extreme lack of fashion sense. I also am rather fond of books, beer, cheese and coffee.
Aside from my disease, I am famous for ranting, unintended shaggy-dog stories, nerding out on biology, uncontrollable hair, and an extreme lack of fashion sense. I also am rather fond of books, beer, cheese and coffee.
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| Just one of my many hair phases |
Hi Olivia - you live in my Mum and Dad's place. I lived there whilst getting over PTSD (inflicted by a very bad boyfriend). Our diagnoses and symptoms don't match up at all. But if you ever feel the need to get away from from the science end of things and get on the everything will be OK end, then you're in the right place to do it. That funny looking Beetlejuice house has had everything you need to get through the tough stuff in it. It's had corgis pottering around in the garden and jumping clean over that tricky step from the bathroom to the living room, it's had domesticated rats from the Nelson Rat Rescue sitting around in their hammock with a garden room view, it's had local cats inviting themselves in for a late night smooch and a slice of deli ham, it's had kids on the lawn, it's had lawn wrestles, it's had days of doing sweet f**k all and laughing at how shit the NZ version of the Bachelor is, it's had big home cooked meals and a lot of sitting around the table, it's had a lot of "right guys we need to get our arses into gear - we're due at work in 10 minutes and none of us have showered yet" conversations.
ReplyDeleteIt's had it all. And whilst it was no doubt the shittest time of my life to date, it got me through. I didn't become a Jehovah's Witness (you need to watch them in Nelson - I was tricked plenty of times), or keep on the gin bottle - maybe I've got low standards, but that feels like an achievement to me.
So when you don't know how to cope with the anxiety, just remember that the place you're in has all the love, mana, and good wishes there could possibly be. Mum and Dad aren't bad either - you've got no worries on that front.
Keep chugging on - and even when you get so lonely you can't stand it, remember you're in people's thoughts.
x Ellie
Hi Ellie,
DeleteThanks so much for your lovely message. It was great to hear the history, if not recent history, of the little cottage. I found it strangely soothing. Each time I negotiate the step from the bathroom I now think of the little corgis. My husband likes the Rat Rescue. I think he is jealous of their hammocks.
Thank you again for your message. We are lucky to be able to add some more history to Beetlejuice Manor.
Liv
Hi Olivia
ReplyDeleteJust like to thank you for sharing your experiences with your fight against the beast that is lymphoma. We have learnt to appreciate life, our health and the little things in life that we take for granted. Life is never easy at the best of times, it is a special friend like you who makes all the difference in the world to us. It is friends like you who are an inspiration to never give up, friends like you make life worth living and friends like you make us feel each morning that it is a beautiful day.
As you know my (Parul) mum had 3 major ops and many rounds of chemo but she never actually told us what she felt. Reading what you have written has made me understand what she went through. Next time we diagnose a patient with lymphoma we will know exactly what they are going through and how they feel thanks to you.
Lots of Love Parul and Dionne (Charing cross hospital, London)